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Background Notes What is a family? This film will make us question what an Australian family is in the 21st Century and our notions of what constitutes a mum and a dad. It gives an insight into the complexities of modern parenting in a society where less than half of all Australian families consist of mum, dad and the kids; and increasing numbers of women and men, including gays and lesbians, are seeking alternate routes to parenthood, such as surrogacy, sperm donors and IVF. In Australia today, families are made up of blended families, co-parents, shared households and sole parents, and ever-increasing variations. Gay and lesbian families are no less diverse. Some gay men and lesbians choose to have families together. In a few cases, the known donor is an active parent and the family can end up with two mums and a dad (as in the film) or even have four parents. The Australian Gay and Lesbian Community It is difficult to ascertain the exact size of the gay and lesbian community in Australia because the national census is only just beginning to include same-sex couples in its data collection and not all gays and lesbians wish to reveal their sexual orientation. All figures must therefore be viewed as estimates that are likely to be lower than real numbers. The 2001 ABS census states that there were 9840 gay couples and 8312 lesbian couples living together. Of these 20% of the lesbian couples had a dependant child/children. Less than 5% of gay couples had a dependant child/children. How many gay and lesbian families are there? There are now a significant number of lesbian parented families in North America, Western Europe and Australia. Estimates in the US range between one to five million lesbian mothers (Gartrell et al 1996) parenting more than six million children (Patterson 1992). McNair (2000) reports that of an estimated 400,000 women who are lesbian, more than 88,000 currently have children. The most common family structure is for a lesbian couple to be the primary parents having conceived via a known or unknown sperm donor. The donor does not usually take on parental responsibility but may be involved in some way in the child’s life. The type of family structure featured in the documentary where the donor becomes an active dad is less common. The exact number of families involving two mums and a dad who parent together is not known. Are there adverse affects for children raised in lesbian families? Over the last two decades, international studies of lesbian families have not found that children are disadvantaged compared with traditional families. In fact, the studies find that children from lesbian families are as emotionally and socially well adjusted as their peers, regardless of whether or not an active male parent was involved. For example:
How do gays and lesbians have children? Throughout history there have always been gay and lesbian parents, many of whom conceived their children from previous heterosexual relationships or marriages. Today, greater acceptance of gay and lesbian lifestyles and increasing access to advances in reproductive technology mean that more gays and lesbians are choosing to have their babies within their same-sex relationship. Across the western world there is a gay and lesbian baby boom. Insemination is usually achieved via a sperm clinic, IVF, or done at home where the man ejaculates into a jar. The woman then draws up the sperm using a needle-less syringe and inseminates herself when she is ovulating. For lesbians wanting sperm there are three options:
A parenting agreement is a document drawn up by prospective parents (in the film, Fiona, Kellie and Darren) that outlines their intentions as to how they will conceive and raise a child. It is not a legal contract (although it may be referred to as such) and is not legally binding in the Family Court, although it can be used as evidence intention. Its main purpose is to promote discussion and help alleviate disputes. What is a primary parent/carer? In the film, Fiona and Kellie are the primary parents or carers of the baby, meaning that the child lives with them and they take on the day-to-day parenting responsibilities. Darren is an active parent in the sense that he has regular access, contributes emotionally and is involved in major decisions. What is the birth mother called? In the film, Fiona is the birth mother, meaning that she gave birth to the child. Other terms include mother, biological mother or blood parent. What is the non-birth mother called? In the film, Kellie is the non-birth mother, meaning that she did not give birth to the child. Other terms include non-biological mother, non-birth mother, and co-mother or non-blood parent. What is the known donor called? Although names do not necessarily imply a legal definition, they can vary depending on the role and relationship within the family, and often change over time. Examples include dad, donor, sperm donor, uncle, father, and co-parent. What are the legal and social implications for gay and lesbian families? Lesbian and gay families are not recognised by Commonwealth legislation. Without the legal and social safety nets that other families automatically receive, lesbian and gay families are at greater risk in a variety of ways. For example: Members of a same sex couple cannot both be legally recognised as parents. This means the non-biological parent (such as Kellie in the film) is not recognised by Australian law as a parent even though she/he may be the main carer of the child. A man who becomes a father via donor insemination (e.g. Darren) is also not legally considered to be a parent. To help combat these problems, non-birth mothers and donor fathers can take out Parenting Orders as ‘persons having an interest in the care, welfare and development of the child’ after the baby is born. Furthermore, parenting agreements (as featured in the film) are not legally binding. Disputes between gay men and lesbians over access to children they have created has seen several families in court setting precedents. As Leanne Kelly (the lawyer featured in the film) puts it, the law is not up-to-date with modern concepts of family. Should the law recognize gay families? There are numerous examples of social, legal and financial discrimination against same sex families. Changing the law would go some way towards alleviating this. For further information, the following websites are useful: Gay & Lesbian Rights Lobby www.glrl.org.au/issues/family.html Love Makes a Family www.lovemakesafamilyaustralia.org/about_what.htm The Victorian Gay & Lesbian Rights Lobby www.vglrl.org.au Awards
Official Festival Selection
Contacts Prospective Lesbian Parents (Melbourne) A support group for lesbians wanting to be parents. home.vicnet.net.au/~plpvic/ Maybe Baby (Melbourne) A support group for prospective gay and lesbian parents. www.maybebaby.org.au Gay Dads (Australia) Australian based website supporting gay men who are planning on, or who are already parents. www.gaydadsaustralia.com Victorian Gay and Lesbian Legal Rights Lobby Lobby group that aims to achieve equity and social justice for lesbians and gay men. www.vglrl.org.au Royal Women’s Hospital Website offers wide ranging information on lesbian health and parenthood www.rwh.org.au/wellwomens Love Makes a Family A Victorian community education and lobbying group that aims to achieve equal rights and choices for lesbian, gay and bisexual, transgender and intersex (LGBTI or 'rainbow') parents, prospective parents and families. www.lovemakesafamilyaustralia.org Rainbow Families Support group for alternative families. Each year a Rainbow Families Conference is held in Melbourne including workshops, panels, discussions and presentations on a wide range of topics to do with alternative families. www.rainbowfamilies.org.au Where to buy Visit our online store: 2 Mums and a Dad 360 Degree Films GPO Box 2009 Darwin NT 0800 tel: +61 4 1853 0550 email: sally@360degreefilms.com.au web: www.360degreefilms.com.au  |
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